Choosing love or fear. Easier said than done, right? It’s one of those catch phrases people put on t-shirts, bumper stickers, and little posters, or tell you in yoga class. But why should we choose love over fear? What does it even mean? And isn’t fear good for something?
Fear is never good for anything. Never. Some people might say, “well, it’s good to be a little scared, keeps you alert and on guard to all the possible dangers out here.” Why not just practice mindfulness? When you’re mindful, you are alert and present. It’s easier to avoid dangers when you are awake to the present moment.
For me, fear is the gut wrenching feeling that there are not enough resources or that life is full of dangers, and the world is a scary place. Essentially, fear is believing the universe is not a benevolent place. It’s a feeling that something bad could happen at any moment. Fine. We get it. Fear is a horrid feeling, but what exactly does love feel like? Love feels like pure fun. Love is acceptance. Love is gratitude. Love is trust. How do you know you really love someone? When you trust them. How do you know you feel love for the universe? You trust. You trust the universe has your back. When you love, you believe everything will work out as it is meant to. When you choose love, you’re on the ride of your life, and however things turn out, the journey will have made it all worthwhile.
Love is abundance. Love is expansion. Love is the deep inhale and the sweet exhale. Love is happiness. Love is joy. When you love, you’re in alignment.
Fear is contraction. Fear feels bad. When I’m scared to be alone in a house because of imagined threats to my safety, my gut hurts. My muscles are tense. The shitty thing about fear is what a waste it is – a waste of time and energy. When I’m choosing fear, I’m scared of things that may never, ever happen. Fear is an illusion. I’ve put myself on high alert, causing stress hormones to course through my body, aging me and making me susceptible to dis-EASE. I’m choosing fear and what I fear doesn’t exist. “What if they don’t like my show?” “What if I’m attacked?” “What if someone breaks in the house?” “What if nobody shows up? “What if no one likes this project?” “What if I succeed and everyone leaves me?” “What if he’s having an affair, and he breaks my heart? “What if he breaks up with me, and I have no place to go?” As your grandmother might have said, why borrow trouble?
Feeling fear, for me, often means I don’t really accept or love myself in that moment. It’s another way to punish myself. It’s another way to say, I’m not good enough; I don’t deserve this. It’s also a surefire way to push away any good stuff. Fear repels abundance. Fear tells the universe, never mind, don’t help. It’s time for us to practice acceptance and forgiveness and love. It’s time to forgive and accept ourselves. When we do this, we love ourselves. And we love ourselves, it’s so easy to share that love. Love begets more love. It’s this wonderful virus. It’s contagious. Finding it hard to love yourself? Practice a little self-care, nourish yourself and forgive yourself.
Love is contagious and so is fear. It’s why it’s so important we choose to love ourselves and others. If you think about war, abuse, destruction of the environment, you’ll find the root cause is fear. Fear of scarcity. Fear of not enough. Not enough food, water, oil, resources. Fear there are no other options out there. Fear creates greed. And greed is never good. We’ve done a fairly good job of destroying our planet out of fear, and I say it’s time to stop. And the way out is to choose love over fear. We start with ourselves, and we feel love blossom, growing and growing. It’s been proven that love has a very high vibration, and if you’re vibrating love and gratitude, then you can raise up others who are mired in fear, worry, and anger.
Really, when you think about, choosing love over fear is the best work we could do, and it’s the best chance for a cleaner, brighter future for everyone on this magical planet. Let’s save the world, let’s choose love over fear all day long.
And, as someone who has enjoyed fantastic abundance in life once said, “I believe that every single event in life happens in an opportunity to choose love over fear.” ~ Oprah Winfrey
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About the Author: Tania Van Pelt is the creator of Happiness Series. She is a writer and content creator, working in film, tv, and online. She wrote the popular lifestyle book "Ageless Diet," published in late 2015. And she is currently working on her next book. She also developed a sitcom pilot set in the restaurant business called "Employees Only TV" and is developing another web series comedy about Denver.