Happiness in Love

To Gift Or Not To Gift

That is the question!  So this is Christmas, ostensibly the most wonderful time of the year… but it’s also one of the most nerve-wracking when you’re in a new relationship. You’re still in that awkward “we like one another but aren’t really comfortable with each other yet” phase. So how do you survive the holidays?

So much can go wrong, and there is definitely the chance that fast-tracking a relationship over Christmas may kill it.

Do you buy him a present? Should he meet your family? Do you have to look like a couple of geeks wearing your matching reindeer sweaters while taking his baby brother ice-skating?

God, I wish I knew. This isn’t going to be one of those ‘now let me tell you what to do’ posts, oh no. I freely admit that I don’t have all the answers (and you may never hear me say this again, so soak it up!).

To me, Scrooge’s much nicer great-great-granddaughter, Christmas is the buzzkill of all buzzkills, especially in new relationships. I don’t want to have to agonize over whether or not he likes a particular CD, pair of socks or baseball hat – or whether he’ll be freaked out that I thought about giving him anything at all.

The heat is on! The pressure is too great – I’m melting!

Gift giving is one of my favorite things to do in the entire world, and that’s because I love the certainty of knowing the object I’m giving is going to make the other person happy. There’s so much room for error in a new relationship that something as simple as a gift can become a make it or break it situation.

When meeting the family, there are a slew of other worries, as well. Do you buy or bake something for his mother? What if it’s inedible and you poison her? Do you bring wine to meet his family? Will they think you’re a lush if you do?

You see what I mean? Stress.

That said, I’d rather be meeting his parents than not (if I’m really into the relationship, that is). I’d rather be faced with the dilemma of what to buy him rather than not having him in my life at all.

The tiny problems you face around the holidays are miniscule when you think about the bigger picture. Christmas should be about togetherness, giving, happiness and love.  It isn’t called ‘joyeux’ and ‘merry’ for nothing, right? I say ignore the pressure and appreciate what you have. Let nature take its course. You’ll know what to do when the time is right. I say do what makes you happy. So who’s with me?



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About the Author: Laura Schreffler is a former New York Daily News columnist who left the world of celebrity behind to focus on what makes her happiest — love and travel. She is the creator of LoveTrekker.com — a website devoted to these two passions that she fondly calls “looking for love in all the right places.” In her spare time she likes to play matchmaker for her friends, dream about her next vacation and gaze at photographs of Taylor Kitsch. For more advice on love, relationships, and happiness, check out http://lovetrekker.com & her book "Internet Dating 101". And follow her here at Happiness Series with her weekly blog about finding love.