Aziz Ansari Says Texting Ruined Dating – Yes or No?

Aziz Ansari Says Texting Ruined Dating: I Agree!

Aziz Ansari appeared on “Conan” this week to promote his new Netflix special, “Buried Alive” and he wound up talking about his upcoming project — what it means to be single in this era. Aziz nails it: he really gets how texting and technology has ruined dating. What he doesn’t say (on “Conan”, at least”) is why he personally never picks up a phone to ask a girl out.

Azis goes on a rant about modern-day dating, acting out a vicious cycle of trying to make plans with a girl over the course of a week. “It’s a frustrating time to be a single person right now,” he admits, adding, “I like the idea of being single in theory…you meet different people, you get to know them and when you find someone you really like you pursue that. I would sign up for that.”

He continues, “But that’s not what being single is anymore. This is what it is: hey great meeting you , let’s go out sometime. OK, cool, bye.”

His monologue is hilarious but a bit tragic because it’s so accurate. He discusses making plans and then confirming the day of just to have the girl say ‘Sorry, I need to stay in tonight’ or going to meet said woman at a bar and having her text him minutes later ‘I just left’. I, who have employed some of these tactics myself, feel his pain.

He concludes: “That’s what being single is now — all that garbage. It’s pretty much now like you’re a secretary for this really shoddy organization scheduling the dumbest shit for the flakiest people ever.”

I place the blame mostly on texting, and on a larger scope, technology itself. All this access has made us all so available, and there is nothing less attractive than an available girl. There is a certain amount of game playing involve in modern times; you must actively force yourself not to respond to every text from a guy the instant you get it. And for all of you who just sneered derisively at this and say you don’t play games well, sorry tootsies, your loss. You’ll learn quick that strategy will serve you well.

Yes, texting, email, What’sApp and chat functions have made us way too accessible but I do have one question for Aziz, who is actively frustrated with the use of all: why didn’t you pick up the phone and call the girl, dude? If you were trying to make plans, how hard is it to pick up the phone?

And for the record, any girl that ‘just left’ minutes after you tell her you’re on your way isn’t a flake — she’s just not that into you. If her previous behavior didn’t have you running for the hills, the thought that she couldn’t wait 10 more minutes for your company is a pretty good indication that she’s not the one for you.


Filed Under: Blogs


About the Author: Laura Schreffler is a former New York Daily News columnist who left the world of celebrity behind to focus on what makes her happiest — love and travel. She is the creator of — a website devoted to these two passions that she fondly calls “looking for love in all the right places.” In her spare time she likes to play matchmaker for her friends, dream about her next vacation and gaze at photographs of Taylor Kitsch. For more advice on love, relationships, and happiness, check out & her book "Internet Dating 101". And follow her here at Happiness Series with her weekly blog about finding love.

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