When we shot this week’s episode I was not planning on sharing my story. Not because I’m ashamed, just because I’ve left it so far behind me.
Don’t get me wrong, when I started telling my “ultimate” accountability story it all came flooding back but not in a painful, emotional sense. A sense of just recognizing … wow, that was me.
There was a huge point I don’t think I made very clear in the episode. I am not talking about BLAME. Being accountable does not mean you blame yourself! I don’t believe any of us would consciously put ourselves in hard or uncomfortable situations.
Being accountable is taking back your power. Knowing only you choose how to react. Only you choose whether to stay in a situation. Only you choose who you surround yourself with…
My healing started with me saying, what in me let this happen? Again, no blame. What was lost in me that I allowed myself to get in this situation? How did I allow and ignore the slow, degrading comments to penetrate me? How had I started to believe them? I allowed someone else to tell me who I was. Then I realized if I allowed all of these things to happen, then I can decide that I won’t allow them to happen anymore.
That was me being accountable for me… for my own thoughts and my own decisions. I got power back I didn’t know I even had. It’s why I healed.
Like my mentor Dr. Martha Linn says to me, “Things don’t happen to you, they happen for you.” Sometimes those things are hard pills to swallow, but I learned so much at a very young age that has served me so unbelievably well.
What I realized most is the freedom accountability has given me. I make sure I practice accountability with all the little stuff throughout my day. So when the big stuff comes up I’m in good accountability shape.
My final point is you must also take accountability for all the positive in your life. By design, it has to swing both ways. It’s great that we want to work on ourselves but we also need to be balanced. Focusing on what is working for you is where your attention should be!
The great thing is only you get to decide!
Please share your accountability stories with us. We want to hear from you.
xo Sheila Heylin
About the Author: Sheila Heylin, the knowledgeable host of Happiness Series, lives in Chicago and Los Angeles. It was in LA where Sheila discovered healthy living. She realized that “what you’re not used to and what you hate are two different things.” She and Tania partnered to create Happiness Series and build an online and offline community that fosters wellness and happiness.