I was amazed when watching last week’s episode (shot last year) by how heavy it was. Even though it’s a serious subject, I was so happy to see what this work and a year has done for me personally. I don’t want any of us, who work hard on ourselves, to only work and stop living! Living life fully is the best teacher we have!
Yes, life rubs us hard sometimes, but embracing it all and embracting how we react to it is what we are accountable for.
How many of us have something “good” happen and we don’t really embrace it? How many of us won’t take credit for it or talk about it? Aren’t we as accountable for that as much as something that we label “bad”? How long do we sit in that “good”? For me, personally, not very long. Yet, when something that I label “bad” happens I used to, not only sit in it, but tell my story about what happened to me over and over again to anyone who would listen. I used to spend a lot of time there. I learned so much from observing how I react to what I labeled as “good”… it happened, GREAT! Then I moved on. I needed that same reaction with what I labeled as “bad”. It happened, great, I’ll deal with it to the best of my abilities, and if that is not an option, and there is nothing I can do… then I have to let it go (still learning that one). Either way, move on to the next moment. That’s staying present. And this keeps you from spending too much time thinking in the future or spending too much time thinking in the past. That is where our unobserved mind loves to hang out! That’s where we miss life. How do you deal with anything that is in front of you when you are so worried about what MIGHT happen and so guilty, resentful, etc., about what has already happened?
You might say, this is way too simple. The truth, as I see it, it is that simple. We complicate it. Really, what are our other choices? We’ve become so accustomed to thinking the other way that to change that old reactionary pattern is challenging to us all!
That’s what I was saying in this week’s episode. If we press so hard through our struggles we end up fighting them that inflates them, and in turn makes them harder and last longer. As one of my wonderful teacher, Joe Anthony said to me, “What you resist persists.”
The point is, problems are put in front of us to teach us. And yes, some seem impossible and some people seem to get more than their fair share but problems are always going to be there. How are we going to react? It will only take you a moment to breathe and then choose how you want to react–not just an old-patterned knee-jerk response, which comes from a tense, unconscious state of mind. You can come from a present state of mind that deals with what is in front of you.
A great exercise is to consciously watch yourself and how you react, regardless the level of incident. Be aware and observe your reaction, whether you go off or whether you are fully present dealing with your situation. Whichever is your response doesn’t matters, it’s only important that you don’t judge your reaction. By paying attention you will see that how you react will change, on its own, just by being aware. It really happens like this, which is logical, because anything you start to pay attention to becomes clear. Then it’s your choice in how you see it and deal with it.
It’s also fun to see how those around you react as well when you’re fully present to the situation.
There is a great book called, “The Power Of Now” by Eckhart Tolle (on our favorites’ list) that really helped me understand this and so much more.
You will be surprised how fast you are able to adjust. It helps to handle stress, and when you’re not in a stressful state ideas and solutions flow with greater ease.
So breathe and be kind to your Self. Let life unfold and deal one moment at a time.
By the way, many people wanted to know if my husband was the man I talked about in last weeks episode. The answer is no! That is the beauty of this work. You break patterns. You learn to recognize, accept, be accountable, and keep moving forward. You shift quickly out of situations that don’t support how you want to live and where you want to go in your life. I’m happy to say I married a man who has a beautiful heart, is generous in all aspects of life and who makes me laugh all the time. I’m very grateful for that gift!
That’s another eye opener! Being accountable for whom you choose to surround yourself with.
What great conversation to have!
One thing at a time!
Please share your accountability stories with us. We really want to hear from you.
About the Author: Sheila Heylin, the knowledgeable host of Happiness Series, lives in Chicago and Los Angeles. It was in LA where Sheila discovered healthy living. She realized that “what you’re not used to and what you hate are two different things.” She and Tania partnered to create Happiness Series and build an online and offline community that fosters wellness and happiness.