Love Ban

A Judge Bans Nebraska Man From Relationships

Some guys are such tools that they should be banned from relationships, but one Nebraska judge has actually made this a legal ruling in the case of one attempted burglar. Yes, seriously.

Jeffrey Hoardley, 21, of Carroll, Neb. was given this very serious sentence by Judge Mark Johnson after he was caught trying to break into a local auto parts store.

“You have a moral compass. Something in you turned away. You need to focus on you,” the honorable Johnson said while handing out his sentence.

Hoadley plead guilty to the attempted burglary and was sentenced to three years probation, a $1,800 fine and 120 days in jail.

There’s no word on his feelings about the relationship ban, but as a man who’s narrowly escaped a jail sentence, I’d say a relationship is (and should be) the last thing on his mind.

Wouldn’t it be nice — and save many of us so much heartache — if the bad boys, megalomaniacs and emotionally exempt of the world were all given a temporary sentence to refrain from relationships? I think so, though I do grudgingly admit that they couldn’t get away with being jerks if we didn’t let them.

I once dated a man who was burned badly by a broken marriage, and he took his vengeance on women by being as awful as he possibly could. I’m well over it, but I do ruefully look back at the past and wish that a judge had slapped him on a wrist, put him in cuffs or whatever and said “NO. You shall not date!” (Kind of like  Gandalf in court robes).

Maybe ol’ Jeffrey will come out of this experience with a new respect for women, relationships…and the law.

As for me, I’m fully on board with the idea of a “relationship judge” — someone to rule who is emotionally able to date, and someone who is able to deem when a male does wrong. Yes, I said male. All women know we are never wrong.

OK, I know this is a little extreme, as I’m not talking about physical abuse here, but just when a man does/says/acts in a non-respectful way, but let’s take the case of a Florida woman, who wound up in a domestic dispute with her husband when he forgot to wish her a happy birthday. The man was sentenced in a court of law to buy his wife flowers and a birthday card, take her to eat at Red Lobster and then go bowling, at her request. I mean, amen, sister (but seriously, dump him. Nothing makes up for abuse, but Red Lobster doesn’t even come close).

Anyway, all favor of a relationship judge, raise your hands, throw down your gavels and get ready for the law of love to rule in your favor. Doesn’t that sound nice? It certainly makes me happy.



Filed Under: Blogs


About the Author: Laura Schreffler is a former New York Daily News columnist who left the world of celebrity behind to focus on what makes her happiest — love and travel. She is the creator of — a website devoted to these two passions that she fondly calls “looking for love in all the right places.” In her spare time she likes to play matchmaker for her friends, dream about her next vacation and gaze at photographs of Taylor Kitsch. For more advice on love, relationships, and happiness, check out & her book "Internet Dating 101". And follow her here at Happiness Series with her weekly blog about finding love.

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