Happiness in Love

Goodbye Seems To Be The Hardest Word

Saying Goodbye can be the hardest thing of all

 

By Laura Schreffler

I knew that, in writing this piece, every sappy love song ever recorded would annoyingly flit through my mind like an entire Celine Dion album on repeat. You know what that means, friends: this could get ugly for everyone involved.

Empress of Fromage & love songs

Last week I took a trip which not only blasted my past wide open, but also finally let me pack my memories away for good. I hadn’t planned on it, but I became the Goodbye Girl.

We sentimentalists like to retrace our steps, see where we’ve been and how we got to our current location. That said, a mere 24 hours in New York — my former home of four years — was enough to finally ease years of longing and fantasizing how an old relationship could have played out differently.

Everyone deals with the process of letting go in their own way. There isn’t a wrong or right way to get over someone, or an appropriate time frame in which to do so, either.

Kelly holds memorials for her exes, burning all of their photographs until they’re finally ‘gone’ from her life. Needless to say, she moves on fairly quickly. Lindsey throws herself into her work. Erin immediately finds someone else to distract her from her pain. Lauren flirts with as many men as possible to validate her own attractiveness.

Do any of my friends have a more fool-proof way of healing their hearts than another? No. Whatever works to cause them less pain is what they should be doing.

It may have taken me years to do so, but I finally said farewell to an old dream. Strangely enough, it wasn’t painful — but it was also the right time to do it (and when I’m talking ‘time’, I’m talking more than four years).

The hardest part of saying goodbye was the reality that I had really moved on. Weird, I know, but I’ve finally realized why letting go was so difficult. Goodbye actually means ‘growing up’.

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About the Author: Laura Schreffler is a former New York Daily News columnist who left the world of celebrity behind to focus on what makes her happiest — love and travel. She is the creator of LoveTrekker.com — a website devoted to these two passions that she fondly calls “looking for love in all the right places.” In her spare time she likes to play matchmaker for her friends, dream about her next vacation and gaze at photographs of Taylor Kitsch. For more advice on love, relationships, and happiness, check out http://lovetrekker.com & her book "Internet Dating 101". And follow her here at Happiness Series with her weekly blog about finding love.