Happiness in Love

When Some Men Say They’re Not The Marrying Kind, They Mean It: There’s Actually An Anti-Marriage Gene!

By Laura Schreffler

Jon Hamm alone made me mad at all men when he professed his undying love to longtime girlfriend Jennifer Westfeldt last year, only to undo all of his good work by saying that he wasn’t genetically programmed to put a ring on it. His excuse? He doesn’t have “the marriage chip.” Mr. Hamm, I call your BS and I raise you a side of incredulity! Unfortunately, it appears that there’s validity to the Mad Men star’s statement: science has found that two out of five men aren’t genetically programmed to want a white wedding. So what’s going to prevent all men from using this as an excuse to stay single?

The very sexy & very committed to his woman, Jon Hamm

Those smart Swedes at the Karolinska Institute have discovered that there’s a particular gene variant linked to men who resist marriage. God help us all! Isn’t it hard enough to find the right man without worrying about whether he’s physically unable to commit? Marriage may not be right for everyone (I’m more of a Goldie Hawn-Kurt Russell type myself) but it’s reassuring to know that the option still exists.

Happy in love but never marrying, Jon Hamm & Jennifer Westfeldt

Alas, don’t freak out just yet: just because your guy hems and haws about marriage doesn’t actually mean he has this gene.

“Genetics usually explain only half the differences between us,” behavioral geneticist Robert Plonin, PhD, tells my pal and former colleague Korin Miller at Cosmopolitan magazine. The other half is influenced by how he was raised, like his parents are divorced, his friends are all perpetual bachelors or he suffered from a really, really bad breakup during his formative years and hasn’t quite gotten over it.

For those of you who want to get married (or happen to live in Manhattan, the worst city in the world to meet a man, in my humble opinion), the odds are sadly stacked against you. But who knows? Miracles do happen.

You can get that ring on your finger, that man to propose... even in NYC

Need proof? Those wedding announcements you see in your local Sunday paper prove that 3/5 of all men, at least, are the marrying kind. Take that, Jon Hamm.

Smoldering Jon Hamm, not the marrying kind of guy

Smoldering Jon Hamm, not the marrying kind of guy

As for Jennifer Westfeldt, I’m sorry for the loss of a diamond on her ring finger. But if her current relationship makes her happy — and it seems like it does — then who am I to judge?

Jon & Jennifer kissing at LAX



Filed Under: Blogs


About the Author: Laura Schreffler is a former New York Daily News columnist who left the world of celebrity behind to focus on what makes her happiest — love and travel. She is the creator of LoveTrekker.com — a website devoted to these two passions that she fondly calls “looking for love in all the right places.” In her spare time she likes to play matchmaker for her friends, dream about her next vacation and gaze at photographs of Taylor Kitsch. For more advice on love, relationships, and happiness, check out http://lovetrekker.com & her book "Internet Dating 101". And follow her here at Happiness Series with her weekly blog about finding love.

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