It’s The Small Things That Determine If Your Relationship Will Last

For Jennifer Lawrence it was all about the sponges…

Jennifer Lawrence in this September's Vogue

If you’ve ever been clouded by the rosy glow of love, put your hands up. Yeah, I know. All your hands are up. But sadly, it’s a fact of life that said glow eventually fades, and we’re left with the reality of a relationship. Some people go the distance. Some do not. But how do you know if your love is “in it to win it” (as Randy Jackson might say) or if you’re simply not meant to be? Jennifer Lawrence knew that she and ex-boyfriend Nicholas Hoult wouldn’t last, but you’d never in a million years guess how.

The 22-year-old realized that her X-Men: Days of Future Past co-star wasn’t the one because of his “sponge etiquette.”

“I wake up earlier in the morning when I have new sponges. That counter doesn’t even see it coming,” the Kentucky native says in the September issue of Vogue before making a very J-Law correlation between sponges and long-run love. “He would never wring them out,” she complains. “We were in the kitchen once, and I picked up the sponge, and it was soapy and wet, and I was like, ‘See?’ These are the kinds of things that make me think we are never going to work.”

I mean yes, her realization is a little quirky, but I think she’s spot on. When you know, you know.

A sexual high can only last so long, and a relationship that’s based on such will inevitably fade. When your pheromones die down, it’s the small things that will count the most.

My current boyfriend — who is, without a doubt, the love of my life — knows, for example, that I’m allergic to cheese but that I still love pizza crusts. Every single time he orders a pizza, he makes sure to eat everything but the crust — which he also enjoys, I must add — and makes sure the crusts are wiped clean of all cheesy goodness. He gives every single last piece to me.

Weird? Yes. Weirder than sponges? No. Like I said, it’s the small things, the things so miniscule that they might go unnoticed, that count. It is the small things, the tiny, sweet, everyday things that make us happy.

Can true love really be summed up by squeezing out the sponge, or sharing your pizza crusts…if you know it’s something your partner appreciates?

Oh, absolutely.

Actors Nicholas Hoult & Jennifer Lawrence (PHOTO BY DAVE M. BENETT/GETTY IMAGES)


Filed Under: Blogs


About the Author: Laura Schreffler is a former New York Daily News columnist who left the world of celebrity behind to focus on what makes her happiest — love and travel. She is the creator of — a website devoted to these two passions that she fondly calls “looking for love in all the right places.” In her spare time she likes to play matchmaker for her friends, dream about her next vacation and gaze at photographs of Taylor Kitsch. For more advice on love, relationships, and happiness, check out & her book "Internet Dating 101". And follow her here at Happiness Series with her weekly blog about finding love.

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