Finding Your Perfect Man

Does the Perfect Man exist?

Do you believe in the perfect man? I don’t. A) Perfection is boring B) It isn’t plausible C) Believing someone is perfect leads to a whole big miss of relationship problems as the man in question will never be able to live up to the man of your dreams. While I don’t believe in absolute perfection, I do believe in the “perfect for you” deal which is different for everyone. But apparently not all think like I do, because when quizzed on what their dream dude was by “Vanity Fair” and “60 Minutes”, most women had a very specific idea of what they deemed “perfect.”

After polling 1,168 adults across the country, it was determined that this male hunk of perfectly burning love is hot, smart, career-oriented, not an alcoholic and mature.

Well duh. We don’t ask for much!

Is your perfect man McSteamy or McDreamy from Grey's Anatomy?

To get more specific, the study found that women want a 40-year-old man who looks like Patrick Dempsey but acts an awful lot like his character, “McDreamy” of “Grey’s Anatomy”. 46% agreed that an otherwise good man is only flawed when he drinks (dealbreaker/turnoff, drunkards be gone!), which is also a bit worrying as 29% polled would change their guy’s temper. Hopefully these two things don’t go hand-in-hand.

At least 63% agreed that chivalry isn’t dead. I’m in the majority here as well — it’s not dead, but sometimes it likes to play hide and seek. You just have to find the right guy.

My issue isn’t what women want, but with the nature of the poll itself. And on that note, I’ll return to my previous point. Perfection doesn’t exist.

When I was younger and foolish (ok, so it was last year) I thought my perfect man was a British, green-eyed, 30-year-old writer. But the things you want are not as important as the things you need out of a relationship. Remember that when you’re about to dismiss the thin, brown-eyed computer programmer because he isn’t the 6’4 blue-eyed jock of your dreams.

Remember that there is an ocean of difference between “perfection” and “perfect for you.” To seek the former will only result in failure. Seek the latter and you’ll find happiness.



Filed Under: Blogs


About the Author: Laura Schreffler is a former New York Daily News columnist who left the world of celebrity behind to focus on what makes her happiest — love and travel. She is the creator of — a website devoted to these two passions that she fondly calls “looking for love in all the right places.” In her spare time she likes to play matchmaker for her friends, dream about her next vacation and gaze at photographs of Taylor Kitsch. For more advice on love, relationships, and happiness, check out & her book "Internet Dating 101". And follow her here at Happiness Series with her weekly blog about finding love.

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