Love: Reverse Commute Dating


I’m just going to put this out there, so there’s no debate: I do not believe in long-distance dating. It doesn’t work. You eventually have to be in the same place, at the same time, to have a functional, solid relationship. That said, I’m fully on board with a recent report I read in the New York Post, which said that women are leaving the city in droves and seeking out men in the suburbs. The force is strong with these wise women.

Reverse Commuting for Love... leaving the city for the suburbs

According to the paper, ladies who long for love are taking 30-minute after-work train rides to meet men in Connecticut, New Jersey, and Nassau County. This new trend is dating has been dubbed “reverse commuting.”

Here are some of the complaints the mademoiselles of Manhattan have made:

Megan Glynn thinks that men are too appearance-obsessed.  She says: “Guys in New York City are constantly emasculated when they have to buy a bottle to get into a club or they take a girl back to their apartment that they share with five other guys.”

Glynn, who works in fashion, states that she found love by reverse commuting to Greenwich. She met and hit it off with a young finance entrepreneur at Greenwich’s L’Escale restaurant. She adds: “If you’re smart and witty and you go out to Greenwich, you can do well.”

Another female New Yorker told the Post: “In Connecticut, they’re just very normal, very sweet, very unassuming.” As opposed to New York men, “they don’t have game. They’re steak-and-potatoes American.”I’m with these girls. I lived in New York City, and, of the two boyfriends I had at the time, both lived in NEW HAMPSHIRE. I mean, how much further from the tri-state area can you get?

The problem with the guys of Manhattan is that they’re a) all playboys b) too career-focused and c) there is too much temptation. New York ladies are all successful, well-dressed and independent. No offense to my current stomping grounds, but they aren’t like the ladies of LA: they don’t need anyone to take care of them (from the outside, at least).

I’m not surprised that this reverse commuting has become a trend. There are some of us, like Carrie Bradshaw, who are forever enchanted by the glittering promise that the city’s bright lights hold. There are others who want to grow up, settle down, have 2.4 kids and white picket fences found in Greenwich.

And then there are those who just want a decent guy, not just a modelizer/investment banker/Wall Street toolbag. Is that really so much to ask?

So commute away, ladies. Half the battle is knowing what you’re up against…and when the promised land – love – is just a short  train ride away.




Filed Under: Blogs


About the Author: Laura Schreffler is a former New York Daily News columnist who left the world of celebrity behind to focus on what makes her happiest — love and travel. She is the creator of — a website devoted to these two passions that she fondly calls “looking for love in all the right places.” In her spare time she likes to play matchmaker for her friends, dream about her next vacation and gaze at photographs of Taylor Kitsch. For more advice on love, relationships, and happiness, check out & her book "Internet Dating 101". And follow her here at Happiness Series with her weekly blog about finding love.

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