Happiness in Love

It’s Time To Create A Relationship Memorial Day

By Laura Schreffler

Why shouldn’t we have a day where we observe all that we’ve learned from the ghosts of relationships past?

Memorial Day – an holiday commemorating those who died in the military — has come and gone this week. However, while taking a moment of silence for actual deaths, I thought to myself ‘Why not take a moment of silence for the deaths of my past relationships, as well?’ It’s important to see how far we’ve come and how much we’ve learned from the mistakes made along the way in order to move forward.

I’ve had four major relationships in my life; and only consider one (which occurred in my mid-twenties) to be an unhappy accident. However, I’m happy to have dated each and every single one of those men, even if none worked out in the long run. Why? They were all learning experiences. Through each love affair, I now definitively know what I don’t want. Knowing what I do want? Well, let’s just say that I have a lot more growing to do.

Anyway, the point of this hypothetical ‘Relationship Memorial Day’ isn’t to look back on the past and wish for what might have been. It’s not to beat yourself up for having jumped the gun with a boyfriend and pressuring him into something he wasn’t ready for, or getting furious all over again that you caught him cheating. This is a day to congratulate yourself  on the fact that you have survived heartbreak, that you’re longer in a bad situation, that you’re on the road to finding the right one because you’ve put yet another Mr. Right Now behind you.

So close your eyes and envision your exes. Sift through the reality of your relationships, not the fine patina of fantasy that has settled like dust on their memories. Take that moment of silence; let them go.

Now open your eyes. You’ve got some living — and loving – to do.

New lovers Blake Lively & Leo DiCaprio put their past relationships behind them & spent a romantic Memorial Day weekend together

 

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About the Author: Laura Schreffler is a former New York Daily News columnist who left the world of celebrity behind to focus on what makes her happiest — love and travel. She is the creator of LoveTrekker.com — a website devoted to these two passions that she fondly calls “looking for love in all the right places.” In her spare time she likes to play matchmaker for her friends, dream about her next vacation and gaze at photographs of Taylor Kitsch. For more advice on love, relationships, and happiness, check out http://lovetrekker.com & her book "Internet Dating 101". And follow her here at Happiness Series with her weekly blog about finding love.