Sh*t Talking… The Met Gala

Met Gala… Disastro or Divine

So many dresses, so much busterociousness.

As always, these are just my opinions, and I welcome any difference in opinion. You are probably wrong, but I welcome it all the same. Let’s go, shall we?

Carey Mulligan

I kind of like this silvery, moneypenny, US coin scale-y dress. I definitely like Carey Mulligan’s shoes. I like the high neck and the bodice. but I can’t also help to think it looks listiff and like it either smells like hot change in your palm, or like a 70s cocaine disco ball. And either it’s her expression or her lipstick needs work. But she’s one of the better outfits.

Jessica Alba

Jessica Alba is wearing an one shoulder gown custom designed by the house of Reynold’s Wrap. I mean, I appreciate the golden-y hue, and it’s a nice enough dress…but it looks like foil. I’m feeling her hair and accessorites,though.

January Jones was the best out of the bunch for me – she brought some glamour,in a fierce yellow outfit, her hair, makeup and almost everything is working. The only thing I’m not feeling is her necklace – it’s too Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman for me. Other than that, hell yes on this.

Rooney Mara

UUUUGGGGHHH I HATE THIS DRESS! What makes it worse is that this style of dress kept popping up all night! Rooney Mara is wearing a one shoulder goth version of a doily from the Addams Family house, and it has shorts and is sheer! WTF! This Trend is NOT the business, no matter who thinks they’re rocking it:

Mary-Kate Olsen

In 2009, she went as Grey Miserable, and guess what? She’s still Miserable now starring as the ghost of a Civil War veteran’s wife. WTH is she wearing?! You can’t just take a black silk sheet, wrap it around yourself and then powder and gel your hair after you shock yourself with a toaster and think that’s cool. And then you want to wear a shiny Kleenex purse? Kleenex is not a purse!

This Olsen twin takes herself very seriously

She gets heartburn after eating all those souls.


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