Sh*t Talking…More Met Gala Madness

Met Gala Disastros: There were a lot of good, and a WHOLE LOTTA BAD!

Let’s take this piece by piece:

Cameron Diaz

I’m kind of sorta not really feeling Cameron’s outfit. It’s actually a dope dress…just no really on her. Her image is fun and sunny, and this is too Cecil B. Demille up in here, and then she coupled it with There’s Something About Mary hair. Yeah no.

This is DeMille done right! I can’t believe Rachel Zoe designed/styled/had a hand in this. I know she kind of looks 70s Oscar awards like, but….damn it makes a statement. Including her sparkly bathing cap. Are you peeping that back? FIYAH!

Rachel Zoe looking a little corn husk like

(PS – why does Rachel Zoe look like a dried corn husk? Seriously?!)

Gwyneth Paltrow is wearing a piece from the haute couture line from Scott Tissue. I mean, I just feel like gala means wearing your dopest outfit and really do it, not find your fanciest dinner napkin and bring your pin cushion as a purse. No Buenos and boo hiss.

Gwyneth Paltrow

So they’re saying this dress is Dolce & Gabbana, but you know and both know where it’s both from Century’s in Bay Ridge. This thing is weird and busted and very Miss Russia. Also, I think she should have kept her hair red.

Scarlett Johansson as Miss Russia

Ok, now Kristen Stewart ….girl I have no words. It’s the definition of a hot mess. Hot Mess ™.  Let’s start from the bottom up – the shoes have fat laces. OK. It leather, pleather, latex-y with a kind of sequined leopard print top. OK. Half the skirt is blue. OK…..OK. It’s like the worse of The Misfits from Jem vomited on her, and she wanted to save the outfit with those shoes. iCant and iWont.

Kristen Stewart

 

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