Don’t Make A Man Into Something He’s Not
If you’ve ever started seeing a new guy and coyly called him your ‘boyfriend’, you’re not alone. We’ve all done it at one point or another, though, as you know, the ramifications of referring to a guy you are casually dating as your partner can be pretty embarrassing.
Take Katy Perry’s current situation as an example of what you shouldn’t do. Eager to move on after her sad-but-expected split from husband Russell Brand, she jumped the gun and started alluding to the guy she was hooking up with as her ‘boyfriend’. NO! FAIL!
It was obvious that she had some serious chemistry with Florence + the Machine guitarist Robert Ackroyd; they were all over each other like white on rice at Coachella this year. She proudly paraded him around, holding his hand and engaging in some pretty heavy displays of PDA. It seemed like a desperate attempt to prove that she had moved on.
I can’t say I blame the girl for trying to look brave. Her British cad of a husband did blindside her with a divorce over the holidays last year, after all.
What I can fault her for is telling all and sundry that her rebound/diversion guy was her a “boyfriend”.
Though Us Weekly now reports that: “It wasn’t that serious. It’s not a nasty thing and they are still talking, but Katy told him to do his thing and they’ll talk soon” and that there are “no hard feelings [as] she’s really busy and so is he”, you kind of have to wonder why she’d go there at all.
Let me tell you two things here: first and foremost, referring to a guy as you want him to be instead of what he actually is is detrimental to your relationship. Commitment occurs over time. If you start calling the dude you’re sleeping with your “boyfriend” out loud, you’ll start to think of him as such. You’re rushing things. It’s likely that he won’t be at the same place that you are that fast.
Secondly, not going to lie….you’re going to look a little crazy. Are you still in high school, where you pretend the football player/skater/drama geek of your unrequited adoration is really the love of your life? Duh, that was rhetorical. You’re all grown up, honey, so act like it!
When he really is your boyfriend, trust me, you’ll know. Seriously, don’t you want to really be happy in love instead of just pretending to be?
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About the Author: Laura Schreffler is a former New York Daily News columnist who left the world of celebrity behind to focus on what makes her happiest — love and travel. She is the creator of LoveTrekker.com — a website devoted to these two passions that she fondly calls “looking for love in all the right places.” In her spare time she likes to play matchmaker for her friends, dream about her next vacation and gaze at photographs of Taylor Kitsch. For more advice on love, relationships, and happiness, check out http://lovetrekker.com & her book "Internet Dating 101". And follow her here at Happiness Series with her weekly blog about finding love.