How to find Acceptance


By Sheila Heylin

Sheila & Tony on set

Tony LeRoy’s first step: Acceptance. It seems so easy. In my head I understand that, yes, I accept my life as it is. Going through my day to day… it gets a little tricky.

What I have found is, if I work on accepting the little annoying things that pop up like heavy traffic, waiting in line, or days that spiral out of control – where it’s a chain reaction of events that just don’t go my way. Accepting them one at a time helps to build my acceptance muscle. Sometimes I have to accept the fact that I’m not accepting. A situation comes up that I just feel like sitting in, and being mad, and repeating why I’m so mad to anyone who will listen. When I accept that I’m not willing to accept this circumstance it takes the air out of that “bad” circumstance, and I don’t stay there as long as I used to.

When I start to accept the little things, it keeps me more aware for when the big things come. Life never lets us lose sight of the big things. It usually hits us when were not looking. Tragedy, catastrophes, all happen throughout our lives. Loss is loss no matter what way you look at it. Healing can’t take place until acceptance happens. As with most things, it’s a process. A process that we need to take care of ourselves while going through it.

The more aware I became while in the hard times, the more I watched myself tirelessly fight to change what had happened to me. It never worked. I only prolonged my pain. Eventually, I would be forced into acceptance because life keeps going on… no matter what. The real power I had was to accept and change the way I was reacting to it.

What makes it easier for me is not judging the circumstance as “good” or “bad.” I’m not in denial of what feels good or bad – that I take on fully. I just mean, I have faith that each circumstance is taking me where I need to go and teaching me along the way.

I saw an interview with Matt Damon, and he said, “Thank God for unanswered prayers,” otherwise his life would have been so different. I couldn’t stop thinking about that! As I went back through my life I found so many things that I thought were really hard, some devastating. Yet, where they took me, I am now so grateful for. Bringing it back to acceptance. When I say YES to whatever is happening, “good” or “bad,” the pain subsides. When I say NO and fight the situation, the pain grows. There is no magic pill. These are the tools we need to get through life. It’s very powerful to know that WE choose how we get through our day – our life.

It’s a happy day when saying yes to what comes outweighs saying no!

Happy day to you all!


Filed Under: Blogs


About the Author: Sheila Heylin, the knowledgeable host of Happiness Series, lives in Chicago and Los Angeles. It was in LA where Sheila discovered healthy living. She realized that “what you’re not used to and what you hate are two different things.” She and Tania partnered to create Happiness Series and build an online and offline community that fosters wellness and happiness.


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