Happiness in Love

Pick Up The Phone & Take Charge Of Your Dating Life — It WILL Make You Happy!

By Laura Schreffler

Here’s a fun social experiment for you. Instead of texting the guy you like, get some cajones (so to speak) and phone him. I guarantee you’ll be surprised by the results…

Sitting around with my friend Matt one night last week, our conversation turned to the art of decoding the man text. Specifically, I wanted to know why modern men don’t call anymore and, because of this, how we women should go about writing the perfect, cool message to get the results we desire.

Matt is British, and more direct than many of the American men I know. “If I like a girl,” he said, “I call her. All this texting is annoying, and it’s not going to get you what you want.”

He’s right, of course. I don’t want to sit around for hours, minutes or even seconds deconstructing a text message from a guy I like wondering, “Did he mean xy and z when he said xxx?” I don’t want to look for hidden meanings or try to understand the vast wilderness of any male brain. I want a direct response that doesn’t need decoding. Happiness, thy name is simplicity.

Matt’s suggestion is so simple that it’s practically unreal, but, again, he’s right. Although it is 2011, we women still expect the guy to call us first. And if he doesn’t, we either sit around hoping he will or we text him, because it’s safer than calling and we simply cannot wait for him to chase us. So here’s my proposition: throw caution to the wind ladies, and man up (so to speak) — especially if he’s not going to. At least you’ll have your answer — even if it isn’t the one you want — a lot quicker.

Sure, this is a bold, brazen move, but I guarantee that you’ll be able to gauge his interest a whole lot better and get to know him better if he does deign to chat with you instead of simply sending a “Saw you called. Was busy” message. Texts convey nothing other than that he knows how to use a phone. Bully for him.

So if you’re sick of feeling like you’re waiting around (even though your phone goes absolutely everywhere with you) like a woman of eras past, then do something about it, for Pete’s sake. Make that move. Sure, it’s aggressive, but aggressive is better than being that desperado that’s waiting for something she’ll never have. Knowing is half the battle, after all. The other half is being secure enough in yourself to walk away from a situation you’re putting all the effort, but reaping none of the rewards, from.

Waiting for the guy to call is a losing situation

Regardless of the outcome, being brave, being honest, and moving on will make you happy. Don’t forget it.

Good luck, girls!

 

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About the Author: Laura Schreffler is a former New York Daily News columnist who left the world of celebrity behind to focus on what makes her happiest — love and travel. She is the creator of LoveTrekker.com — a website devoted to these two passions that she fondly calls “looking for love in all the right places.” In her spare time she likes to play matchmaker for her friends, dream about her next vacation and gaze at photographs of Taylor Kitsch. For more advice on love, relationships, and happiness, check out http://lovetrekker.com & her book "Internet Dating 101". And follow her here at Happiness Series with her weekly blog about finding love.