THE BAD BOY: BAD IDEA
Typically I don’t indulge in celebrity nonsense, but I heard two such upsetting celebrity stories this week that I literally wanted to bang my head against a wall. Oscar winners Lupita Nyong’o and Jared Leto were dating? Mila Kunis was dumb enough to actually get engaged to the cheating Ashton Kutcher? What the what?! What is it with bad boys? Why do we love them so?
Let’s talk Lupita first, Hollywood’s awards season “It” girl. Back in the day we had Parker Posey and Julia Stiles, a few years ago we had Emma Stone, last year we had Jennifer Lawrence, and now we have Lupita. These are women who inspire us, who bring out the BFF in us, who we actually admire instead of loathe for getting by on their good looks (Megan Fox, I’m talking to you). There’s always one, and this year, it was the 12 Years a Slave star.
Now don’t get me wrong, Jared Leto is just about the hottest man in Tinseltown. But he’s also a bad boy who does what he wants, rocks man locks and fronts a band. Getting back into acting was a whim, and not his focus. He’s a wanderer, and artist, a 42-year-old man child. Yeah, he’s beautiful, but if you’re looking for a serious relationship, he’s not your best bet.
Now Mila and Ashton, that’s a whole ‘nother kettle of fish. Yes, they starred together on That ’70s Show and very cutely played a couple before they became a couple. Yes, they’ve known each other for years. And yes, we love who he settled down with after a tumultuous marriage to his much-older wife Demi Moore. We can hope against hope that history won’t repeat itself with these two, because for us, they’re up there with the likes of Spears + Timberlake or Aniston + Pitt, couples we genuinely hope will go the distance. Anyhoo, they’re reportedly engaged. Mila has been sporting a giant rock and rosy glow, two very telling signs of an “I do” to be.
But don’t forget friends, when you cheat as an adult, it’s pretty much once a cheater, always a cheater. There are exceptions, of course, but not many. And let’s not forget, Ashton’s cheating has been very well documented.
So why do we fall for the bad boys? Is it their allure, their sense of unattainability? Or is it that we want to be the women who have successfully reformed them?
Maybe it’ a combination of both. I only liked bad boys throughout my ’20s, but when my early ’30s kicked in, I had had enough. Although this isn’t the case for Hollywood types like Ashton and Jared, most bad boys won’t take you on dates, they’ll late night booty call, and they aren’t available when you need them to be because they’re out living their lives and just being free, man.
They’re fun, but they’re not serious marriage material, and in most cases, we can’t make them so. Don’t forget that. We women tend to want what we want, right? But we can’t force a square peg into a round hole. Enjoy the bad boy for what he is but please, ladies, don’t marry him, m’kay? If happiness is your goal, you need to consider spending forever with the ‘good guy’ instead.
Filed Under: Blogs
About the Author: Laura Schreffler is a former New York Daily News columnist who left the world of celebrity behind to focus on what makes her happiest — love and travel. She is the creator of LoveTrekker.com — a website devoted to these two passions that she fondly calls “looking for love in all the right places.” In her spare time she likes to play matchmaker for her friends, dream about her next vacation and gaze at photographs of Taylor Kitsch. For more advice on love, relationships, and happiness, check out http://lovetrekker.com & her book "Internet Dating 101". And follow her here at Happiness Series with her weekly blog about finding love.