Lights, Camera… Happiness

Hocus Pocus

By Lauren Harper

What is it about psychics that intrigue us? I mean, seriously, is it the list of services (aura cleansing… huh?) or the tacky displays of candles, crystals, and other mystical objects that smell or look good? Perhaps the flickering neon sign dangling from the window? The need to have a stranger tell you everything you don’t want to hear? Potentially becoming enlightened? Could your future be lucrative? Will these predictions come true? Will fog begin to appear? Is there a gift shop? I know: these are a lot of questions in an opening paragraph.

I have been toying with the idea of waltzing into a psychic for a month. Each Monday I pass this one psychic on my way to improv class on Melrose Avenue.

Peer pressure, curiosity, the pretty display of candles and sparkly baubles led me to open the door, give the lady cash, and demand a life reading.

Suddenly, I was forced to hold a cold small ball. You know, like a crystal ball.

As I gripped the crystal, I was asked to close my eyes and think of two wishes. She told me to think and truly concentrate on these wishes. She advised me to open my eyes and reveal one wish when I was ready.

Now, I won’t tell you my wishes simply because I’m not sure they will come true if I reveal them. You don’t go parading around the room shouting your birthday wish after blowing out the candles do you? No.

But because I kept my birthday wish a secret for many years and still never got a pony that means it doesn’t work. So let the games begin…

I opened my eyes and whispered (because I thought I had to), “I wish to be successful in my acting career.” Oh boy, here we go. As I admitted my initial wish out loud I felt like rolling my eyes. This is so stupid. Honestly, I wonder how many actors wish for the same thing on her couch holding those crystal ball things. Yet here I was, I couldn’t escape because her dog was growling from the other room of the shop, also I just paid good money, and deep down inside I wanted to know what she was going to tell me.

Okay, this lady was honest. Too honest. I found myself offended every 8 seconds of our 30 minute reading. She just sat there in her pink Juicy Couture sweatpants and talked. She didn’t seem to take a breath in between talking nor did she make eye contact with me.

Here are the basics:

Psychic: Fire your acting agent.
Me: Ok.
Psychic: Call your ex boyfriend, he was your soulmate in a past life.
Me: Ok.
Psychic: Be confident.
Me: Ok.
Psychic: Figure out who you are, I suggest you seek spiritual guidance.
Me: Ok.
Psychic: I sense your mother is a nice person.
Me: My mom is so nice.
Psychic: Do you have a child?
Me: What?
Psychic: You have relationship issues.
Me: Ok.
Psychic: Don’t ever change who you are, you’re perfect.
Me: Ok.

Before I knew it, our time was up and the reading was over. I was about to give her back the ball until she asked, “before we part, do you have any further questions for me?”

Ugh, how about the one about my first wish, remember that? The whole reason I came in here! I paid you for that! (I said these things in my head.)

I asked, “Well, uh, will I be successful in my acting career?”

She firmly nodded, grinned, and softly said, “Yes.”

So there you have it. I walked out happier than when I entered simply due to the fact that the experience was one of a kind. It’s quite weird actually, I felt much better about myself after the invasive questions rather than when I first shuffled into the shop.

Despite the crystals, neon sign, growling dog, and paying money to hear weird things, I am thrilled I did it.

Sometimes in life it takes a psychic in a tracksuit to reaffirm the fact that one should be confident and never change who one is.

Don’t change who you are. You are perfect.


Filed Under: Blogs


About the Author: Lauren Harper is an L.A. woman with East Coast blood. Born in Greenwich, Connecticut, she is an actress and writer residing in the heart of Hollywood, California. Lauren graduated from Penn State University with a B.A. in journalism and a minor in French and Francophone Studies. Fast forward to 2012, she has continued to work, successfully carving a niche for herself in the entertainment industry. Lauren is excited to contribute to Happiness Series with Lights, Camera…Happiness and her interview series, Lights, Camera…Interview. Lauren hopes to further enlighten herself and you with each entry. Find out more about Lauren Harper | Twitter: @TheLaurenHarper | Official Site: | e-mail: [email protected]


  1. […] myself into therapy and wonder what’s wrong with me. And under no circumstances will I ever pay a psychic […]

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