Being in Love Should Make You Happy & If It Doesn’t, Your Relationship Ain’t Right!
By Laura Schreffler
Ah, love. It’s written about in sonnets and poems, sung about in sappy songs, and emphasized in terrible Ashton Kutcher films that we will secretly not only see but actually buy when they come out on DVD. Love is what we strive for, the one thing above all else that can make us truly happy. So why do we often find ourselves completely miserable in relationships that should be making us feel euphoric?
Well, there are a few reasons why love hurts. Let me explain…
#1 The Relationship Isn’t Right
Don’t force your round hole self to be with a square peg. As much as you want to be in a relationship, and as much as you think you’re in love, why would you want to be with someone who keeps you waiting by the phone for hours on end, who makes you cry, who brings you pain? Right. You don’t. So let it go – and move on to someone who will bring you the joy you deserve!
#2 Your Own Fears Are Getting The Best Of You
If your boyfriend goes out with his buddies one night and doesn’t call in until the next night, you freak out and assume he’s cheating. In reality, he’s just hungover and trying to focus on getting through the day. Although you’d like to be the center of his world, he does have a life apart from you – so don’t let your anxiety and jealousy get the best of you. Be cool.
#3 You Base Your Relationship On That Of Your Friends
What works for your BFF isn’t necessarily going to work for you. So what if her boyfriend calls her six times a day and calls her sweetums? Your boyfriend might be way more masculine than hers – or just way less cheesy. You can’t change a guy, so why try? Be with someone who’s going to give you what you need.
#4 You’re Unhappy With Other Things In Your Life And Taking It Out On Your Relationship
Maybe it’s not your boyfriend that’s the problem (or you, for that matter), but outside circumstances that you haven’t considered. Are you stressed at work, fighting with a friend or unhappy about your weight and taking it out on your guy? If you aren’t happy, there’s a reason – and he’s not necessarily it. Just make sure you know what the root of your problem is before you start ripping apart your relationship.
#5 It’s Real
Love is not all romance, hearts and flowers. Every day cannot be Valentine’s Day. Being in a relationship means that you will disagree, you will have fights, and you won’t always be in the mood for s-e-x. Love is not perfect – as much as we would like it to be. Don’t wish that your love life was like a romantic comedy, where the actors kiss just before the credits roll. Haven’t you ever wanted to know what happens after the movie ends? That’s reality, my friends – and love isn’t perfect. So don’t push things. Enjoy what you have and live in the moment. If you’re worrying about the future, his past or his failings, you’ll never be as happy as you should.
Be Happy in Love,
This is the first blog from our travel and love expert, Laura Schreffler. For more info on all matters love and travel related check out her site www.lovetrekker.com. And look for a new blog from Laura here at Happiness Series every Thursday.
Filed Under: Blogs
About the Author: Laura Schreffler is a former New York Daily News columnist who left the world of celebrity behind to focus on what makes her happiest — love and travel. She is the creator of LoveTrekker.com — a website devoted to these two passions that she fondly calls “looking for love in all the right places.” In her spare time she likes to play matchmaker for her friends, dream about her next vacation and gaze at photographs of Taylor Kitsch. For more advice on love, relationships, and happiness, check out http://lovetrekker.com & her book "Internet Dating 101". And follow her here at Happiness Series with her weekly blog about finding love.