Bride Plans Wedding 10 Years Before Marriage. This Freaks Me Out.
Believe it or not (and have I ever lied to you?), I have never thought about what my dream wedding would be like. I have never fantasized about the dress, the guests, the hairdo or the vows. The closest I have come is watching TLC’s “Say Yes to the Dress”, and that’s just to see all the cat-fighting between brides with poor taste and their know-it-all bridesmaids. So I am confounded, yes confounded, to hear about a woman who not only planned her wedding before being proposed to, but who actually created a binder for her hypothetical big day. Sorry groom, but unfortunately, you have no say in your nuptials….you’re just there to walk down the aisle and look good. You better do your job…or else.
ABC News aired a segment on the true story of Shawn and Kate Owens, the latter of whom is the decade-in-advance planner.
When Shawn proposed to his then girlfriend (now wife), she immediately accepted…and then proceeded to whip out a binder with every last detail of their big day mapped out. The binder was entitled “Life.”
“I think some people probably thought I was nuts,” said Owens, of Clifton Park, N.Y. “I knew the style of wedding dress I wanted. I knew what style bridesmaids’ dress I wanted. I knew the color scheme. I knew I wanted it to be outdoors.”
She even booked a band back in 2003 — almost ten years before her actual wedding.
“I booked my band nine years in advance,” she revealed. “I said ‘I don’t have a groom, but if you guys are still around, will you plan my wedding?’”
For his part, Shawn says he was “a little surprised” to discover this new side to the woman he had chosen to spend forever with but ultimately enjoyed as the wedding planning process became “low stress.” Tell me something about men I don’t know already, will ya Shawn?
When their nuptials finally arrived last June, Shawn did have some input. “He picked out the tux that he wore,” Kate said. “He picked out the suit and everything that the guys wore. I just gave him a color scheme to work with.”
Excuse me for my bewilderment, but I just don’t get this. I know the wedding, in theory, should largely be about the dress, but to me, I believe it should be about togetherness. Sure, most females are better equipped to deal with all the little annoyances that might crop up during the planning stages than men are, but that doesn’t mean a guy should be X’d out of the process altogether.
I am what you might call a ‘type A’ female, and even so, there’s something about this that doesn’t sit right with me. What’s the big deal? Why is there so much drama surrounding weddings? I’ve seen sane friends go crazy, emotions are always riding high and there’s always a fallout over the most inane things. When you put things in perspective, does it really matter than you couldn’t get Mindy Weiss to plan? That you couldn’t have rare orchids imported from Thailand? That you have to hire a DJ instead of having a band?
My answer is NO, though the married among you should feel free to disagree.
To me, a wedding should be simple. It’s making a lifelong commitment to someone you love in front of the people you care about most. Why all the bells and whistles? Life is short. At the end of the day, you should realize the material things do not matter and that it is your love that creates the celebration, not the $20,000 wedding planner.
Plus, if you really want to spend money, why not do it on the honeymoon?
Whatever you choose, it’s your life. Do what makes you happy…just try not to terrorize your friends and family, m’kay?
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About the Author: Laura Schreffler is a former New York Daily News columnist who left the world of celebrity behind to focus on what makes her happiest — love and travel. She is the creator of LoveTrekker.com — a website devoted to these two passions that she fondly calls “looking for love in all the right places.” In her spare time she likes to play matchmaker for her friends, dream about her next vacation and gaze at photographs of Taylor Kitsch. For more advice on love, relationships, and happiness, check out http://lovetrekker.com & her book "Internet Dating 101". And follow her here at Happiness Series with her weekly blog about finding love.