Happy New Year! I hope you all started your year off with a big, fat kiss underneath the mistletoe. If you didn’t, well,you still have some 300+ odd days to make amends.So let’s talk resolutions. I’m sure you all made one. As to whether or not you actually stick to your guns, that remains to be seen. But there’s beauty in the fact that we get a fresh start each year, that we can right all of our wrongs. My resolutions were of the bucket list variety, but they still involved finding a solution to desires that had been plaguing me for years.
If we can make resolutions to do things we’ve always wanted to do, to get back to the gym and lose that five pounds we’ve been moaning about forever, why can’t we make love resolutions as well?
I’ll tell you a secret: they work. Whether you’re telling yourself to try something new, take a risk or date against type, be firm. It helps to make a list and see your resolve in print.
Two years ago at Christmastime after the demise of a tremendously bad, heartbreaking relationship, I made a list. It had three columns, and listed the things I wanted, needed and would like in a man. I folded it up and forgot about it and went about the business of healing.
When I was finally put back together again, I was in a good place. I had a great new job, good friends and lived in a wonderful place (the only Hell-Ay in LA is Hollywood; to live in one of the beach cities is pure joy). I didn’t need a man. In fact, I was happy without one. I was enjoying life not even thinking about dating.
And then I met the love of my life, without expecting to. When I was moving (to a different, more beautiful beach city) a year after our relationship began, I found my list. He met all but one of my requirements, which was a ‘would like’ my man to travel. But he inadvertently met all my truly important requirements in spades.
The rub: I took a chance. My boyfriend was a completely different kind of guy that the ones I had previously dated. He’s loyal and reliable and a bit of a homebody. I always craved excitement: photographers, actors and models. Basically, the kind of guy you should never expect something serious from.
And that’s my point: take a risk. Go against type. Don’t be afraid to break out of your mold, because the reward could really be a lifetime of love if you’re brave enough.
So go on, repeat after me….I DO RESOLVE TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. I DO RESOLVE TO TAKE A CHANCE. I DO RESOLVE TO LET LOVE FIND ME.
I promise you, you’ll be happy that you did.
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About the Author: Laura Schreffler is a former New York Daily News columnist who left the world of celebrity behind to focus on what makes her happiest — love and travel. She is the creator of LoveTrekker.com — a website devoted to these two passions that she fondly calls “looking for love in all the right places.” In her spare time she likes to play matchmaker for her friends, dream about her next vacation and gaze at photographs of Taylor Kitsch. For more advice on love, relationships, and happiness, check out http://lovetrekker.com & her book "Internet Dating 101". And follow her here at Happiness Series with her weekly blog about finding love.