MAN COULDN’T LAST TWO HOURS PRETENDING TO BE A WOMAN ON OKCUPID
What happens when a man tries a social experiment online and pretends to be a woman? Hilarity, of course, but also understanding of what it is we have to deal with should we try to find love on the Internet.
Redditor OKCThrowaway22221wanted to see how the other half (women) lived, so logged on for a pleasure night in online, which turned sour very, very quickly. It turned so sour, in fact, that he lasted a measly TWO HOURS as a woman. Hah! Let that be a lesson you, gentlemen!
He writes: “At first I thought it was fun, I thought it was weird but maybe I would mess with them or something and freak them out and tell them I was a guy or something, but as more and more messages came (either replies or new ones I had about 10 different guys message me within 2 hours) the nature of them continued to get more and more irritating. Guys were full-on spamming my inbox with multiple messages before I could reply to even one asking why I wasn’t responding and what was wrong. Guys would become hostile when I told them I wasn’t interested in NSA sex, or guys that had started normal and nice quickly turned the conversation into something explicitly sexual in nature. Seemingly nice dudes in quite esteemed careers asking to hook up in 24 hours and send them naked pics of myself despite multiple times telling them that I didn’t want to.”
But after awhile, he couldn’t deal with how aggressive his potential suitors could be.
“I would be lying if I said it didn’t get to me. I thought it would be some fun thing, something where I would do it and worse case scenario say ‘lol I was a guy I trolle you lulz’ etc. but within a 2 hour span it got me really down and I was feeling really uncomfortable with everything. I figured I would get some weird messages here and there, but what I got was an onslaught of people who were, within minutes of saying hello, saying things that made me as a dude who spends most of his time on 4chan uneasy. I ended up deleting my profile at the end of 2 hours and kind of went about the rest of my night with a very bad taste in my mouth. I came away thinking that women have it so much harder than guys do when it comes to that kind of stuff.”
Pardon my French, but no s**t Sherlock. Online dating, especially on free sites like OKCupid, can be downright disheartening. Unlike Plenty of Fish, which is known to be a sex site, most assume that OKCupid is a cool and easy way to meet someone. WRONG. If a man won’t even pay a meager monthly fee to date, then that should tell you all you need to know about him. Instead you should really be trying your luck with eHarmony or Match.
Personally, I’m glad that men (or at least one man) is seeing what we have to put up with. I wrote an entire book on online dating –– Internet Dating 101: It’s Complicated But it Doesn’t Have to Be – and while I think it’s a great way to meet people, you do have to choose the right site and beware of creepers wanting a one-night stand.
OKCThrowaway22221 was shocked that seemingly nice guys were looking for action and naked photos from him (when he was supposedly a gal) but it’s the nature of the beast. If a guy knows he can get away with something, and that he’s had positive results from others, he’ll try it again.
The bottom line is that there are a lot of scumbags out there, but there are also a lot of great guys, too. Just be smart! If someone is trying to s-e-x- you up within 24 hours of meeting you, or 36, or a week, he’s not a good person and he only wants one thing. It is much easier to seduce someone over the WWW when you can’t see the tics and tricks that would give them away in person.
Dating online can also make you overwhelmingly happy — 50% of Americans now meet their partner this way — so don’t give up. Just hope upon all hopes that other men are as cool as OKCThrowaway22221 and are able to put themselves in your shoes for a change.
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About the Author: Laura Schreffler is a former New York Daily News columnist who left the world of celebrity behind to focus on what makes her happiest — love and travel. She is the creator of LoveTrekker.com — a website devoted to these two passions that she fondly calls “looking for love in all the right places.” In her spare time she likes to play matchmaker for her friends, dream about her next vacation and gaze at photographs of Taylor Kitsch. For more advice on love, relationships, and happiness, check out http://lovetrekker.com & her book "Internet Dating 101". And follow her here at Happiness Series with her weekly blog about finding love.