Every year on January 1st, millions of Americans utter their New Years resolutions. Those that had a little too much holiday cheer resolve to go on diets or hit the gym. Then there are those who can’t walk down the street without buying something for themselves resolve to spend less. But why make a resolution at all if you’re not going to keep it? And are there resolutions can the lovelorn make…that they can actually stick to?
I’ll tell you a true story. I had a relationship that came to a bitter end on Christmas Eve last year. In addition to the pain of a breakup, I had to bear the indignity of being miserable over the holidays. Thus, I resolved that I should never get in involved with anyone who wasn’t completely right for me. I decided to focus on work, and myself, instead.
And not to gloat, because that isn’t the point I’m trying to make at all (I swear), but leaving my bad patterns behind and actually focusing on work (instead of simply saying I was going to and re-focusing on bad boys again), I scored an awesome new job, wrote a book — Internet Dating 101 – AND met a really wonderful guy who is literally the light of my life. Dating him made me realize that love may not mean never having to say you’re sorry, but it certainly doesn’t mean a relationship has to be stormy and tempestuous to work.
So what New Years love resolutions will you be making this year?
Just in case you’re lacking inspiration after all those shots you did on NYE, here’s a few starter resolutions to put in your back pocket. Don’t save them for a rainy day, please….resolve to make those changes NOW.
- Like I said before, try dating against type. Who you actually may end up just might surprise you if you give that accountant at work a chance, party girl.
- Don’t be a hater, try online dating. It’s like shopping, but for a man. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.
- Don’t sleep with a guy on the first date, or even the third. There’s no rush. And remember, the longer you hold out, the more likely he is to think you’re actually worth it.
- Say goodbye to the past. If a relationship ended, there must have been a valid reason. Don’t build your ex up in your head. Pack him away in your memory box and move on.
- Don’t put pressure on yourself. So what if all your high school, college and work friends are getting married/have kids? Everyone moves at their own pace. Think glass half full: you get to do exactly as you please…for now. One day, when the time is right, that will change. But be happy with who you are and what you have until then, m’kay?
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About the Author: Laura Schreffler is a former New York Daily News columnist who left the world of celebrity behind to focus on what makes her happiest — love and travel. She is the creator of LoveTrekker.com — a website devoted to these two passions that she fondly calls “looking for love in all the right places.” In her spare time she likes to play matchmaker for her friends, dream about her next vacation and gaze at photographs of Taylor Kitsch. For more advice on love, relationships, and happiness, check out http://lovetrekker.com & her book "Internet Dating 101". And follow her here at Happiness Series with her weekly blog about finding love.