Feeling unworthy is a lack of self love.
I can look at my family and friends and give you a long list of why these amazing people deserve everything life has to offer. If they don’t feel that to be true, my gut and mind will work together beautifully so I can clearly state the case of why they are so deserving. A factual case. Not a Pollyanna one just to make them feel good… that doesn’t help anyone.
Yet, when it comes to me and stating that case for myself, it becomes weak and full of “buts”. My feelings of selfishness and lines like “who do you think you are, Miss Full of Yourself?” and”what in you believes you could do that?”‘ are there to greet me. The truth is I would NEVER treat any human being on earth that way. Yet, this is how I treat myself. Now that is an eye opener!
I’m learning the difference between building self love and feeding the ego, because to me, it seems like a fine line. Being excited and proud of what I’m doing is a good thing. It feels warm and loving inside me. Even joyous. Identifying myself with what I’m doing (that’s who I am) and only caring about the results is what feeds my ego. “If the outcome isn’t good… I suck.” Having to constantly talk about what I’m doing and caring more about the other person’s reaction, that totally feeds my ego. Or maybe, I didn’t feel I worked that hard, and still positive things came my way with ease, so I’m not deserving of it. How in my shortsightedness do I know what I’ve done in the past that made that seem easy for me now? The judgement is amazing!
I’m not saying to walk around feeling full of yourself and entitled. I’m saying, self love grounds you and leads to acceptance. Self love gives you the strength to accept what is happening right now. The confidence that you will not be defined by this moment, that you are made up of many moments. Stay present and don’t judge those moments as good or bad. You don’t know if what you’re going through right now is going to end up making something down the road seem easy.
This is why it’s so important to observe how you think. How do you choose to treat yourself when something “good” happens to you? How do you choose to treat yourself when something “bad” happens to you? Which of these do you think about longer? Both are your teachers. Both tell you where you are at, in this present moment. When you become aware it really does become your choice. Life won’t just “happen” to you.
So observe your thoughts and know that we are all worthy of ALL that life has to offer.
We are amazing works in progress!
So let’s be kind to ourselves!
About the Author: Sheila Heylin, the knowledgeable host of Happiness Series, lives in Chicago and Los Angeles. It was in LA where Sheila discovered healthy living. She realized that “what you’re not used to and what you hate are two different things.” She and Tania partnered to create Happiness Series and build an online and offline community that fosters wellness and happiness.