Happiness in LOVE

DON’T IGNORE THE SIGNS! TAYLOR SWIFT REVEALS HER RELATIONSHIP RED FLAGS

Jake Gyllenhaal made her cry when he told her it’s “Not me, it’s you — and your age” (despite going on a so-adorable-it-made-me-want-to-vomit apple picking date), she’s been cheated on before and Joe Jonas dumped her in a humiliatingly short 27-second phone call. Some might infer that Taylor Swift is unlucky in love, but she says she just didn’t notice the red flags that she was picking the wrong guys. I’m with her. Ignore the signs, and you’re going to get burned.

Although wishing heartache on Taylor Swift is like wishing harm on a kitten, her experiences should make you feel better. You might be at the peak of your career, you might be drop-dead gorgeous and you might have more money and talent than you know what to do with… but, like all of us, you can’t make Mr. Wrong love you back.

Thank God. Who wants to date a deadbeat like Joe Jonas anyway?

Still, she’s in touch enough with her feelings that she can freely admit that she’s been hurt and that she will survive by working through the pain as she always does.

“There’s just been this earth-shattering, not recent, but absolute crash-and-burn heartbreak,” the 21-year-old country singer reveals in the February issue of Vogue, adding, “And that will turn out to be what the next album is about. The only way that I can feel better about myself — pull myself out of that awful pain of losing someone — is writing songs about it to get some sort of clarity.”

I call BS on her next comment — “I just don’t really feel like dating. I really have this great life right now” — but I’ll let the girl have her delusions.

Taylor Swift & Joe Jonas, before he dumped her

The point of this post wasn’t to write a who’s-who on the celebrities she’s dated (though I will list the best of the rest as John Mayer, Taylor Lautner and Chord Overstreet), but for you to glean wisdom from red flags she ignored while daydreaming about being saved by a prince riding on a big white horse. At least she’s realized in the end that the guy she was ‘slaying dragons with’ turned out to actually be the dragon in disguise.

TAYLOR SWIFT’S FOUR BIG RED FLAGS

1. “If someone doesn’t seem to want to get to know me as a person but instead seems to have kind of bought into the whole idea of me and he approves of my Wikipedia page? And falls in love based on zero hours spent with me? That’s maybe something to be aware of.”

2. “If a dude is threatened by the fact that I need security, if they make me feel like I am some sort of princessy diva—that’s a bad sign. I don’t have security to make myself look cool, or like I have an entourage. I have security because there’s a file of stalkers who want to take me home and chain me to a pipe in their basement.”

3. “If you need to put me down a lot in order to level the playing field or something? If you are threatened by some part of what I do and want to cut me down to size in order to make it even? That won’t work either.”

4. “ I can’t deal with someone who’s obsessed with privacy. People kind of care if there are two famous people dating. But no one cares that much. If you care about privacy to the point where we need to dig a tunnel under this restaurant so that we can leave? I can’t do that.”

Allure of the older man: John Mayer & Taylor Swift

OK, so her deal breakers are slightly different than ours. But the point is, she’s realized what won’t work for her. And knowing what you don’t want? That’s half the battle.

Sorry to all the jerks like Joe “I’m still trying to grow facial hair” Jonas, but you will realize — when you grow up — what you lost. As our girl Tay sings, “Now it’s too late for you and your white horse to catch me now.”

 

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About the Author: Laura Schreffler is a former New York Daily News columnist who left the world of celebrity behind to focus on what makes her happiest — love and travel. She is the creator of LoveTrekker.com — a website devoted to these two passions that she fondly calls “looking for love in all the right places.” In her spare time she likes to play matchmaker for her friends, dream about her next vacation and gaze at photographs of Taylor Kitsch. For more advice on love, relationships, and happiness, check out http://lovetrekker.com & her book "Internet Dating 101". And follow her here at Happiness Series with her weekly blog about finding love.

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